


If I Ever Lost You

by cmfan3



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Bisexual Jennifer "JJ" Jareau, Chocolate Thunder, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hotch’s A Literal Robot, Lesbian Emily Prentiss, Papa Rossi, Penelope Garcia’s On Crack, Spencer Reid’s An Encyclopedia, The Season 7 Cast Is Iconic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cmfan3/pseuds/cmfan3
Summary: The team gets a case in Washington, the only issue is that all the victims look like JJ. Afraid that she won’t be able to tell JJ how she feels before it’s too late, Emily doesn’t want the team to take the case. While they’re in Washington, something unexpected happens. Will Emily ever have the chance to tell JJ how she feels or is it too late?
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 14
Kudos: 61





	1. She’s Gone

With a shaking hand, she reached over and picked up the paper. She opened the note and when she read the three words, her world stopped.

**I have her.**

  
  


**_A few days earlier_ **

Emily was sitting at her desk in the bullpen chatting with Derek and Spencer. Actually, it was more like picking on Spencer with Derek. The two misfits were pestering Spencer about his new haircut. “Are you sure you’re not in a boy band?” joked Derek while ruffling his hair. Spencer swatted his hand away in annoyance, “yes, I’m sure. Now can I please get back to work? You guys are distracting me.” Emily opened her mouth to respond when she was cut off by JJ rushing in. Out of breath, JJ barely managed to get the words out as she rushed to the conference room, “it’s a bad one.”

The three went up and sat around the table, each in their respective spots. Emily looked up at the screen which was covered in gruesome photos, ones she couldn’t seem to stomach. As Emily began to actually look at the victims, she couldn’t help the gut wrenching feeling that arose as she glanced at the blonde standing in front of her. _They all look exactly alike._ The thought sent chills down her spine.

Before JJ began presenting the case, she glanced upon the brunette to try and understand how she felt about it. JJ saw what no one else did, the dread and fear that rose in Emily’s eyes. She shook it off and began explaining the situation to her team, “four victims as of now. They’re all in their mid-twenties with blonde hair and blue eyes. They were born in different states, but ended up in Washington. They all seemed to be single, but they were still in contact with their families. They worked different jobs and lived in different areas. All the victims had a different COD-”

“-Then why are we even looking at this case,” interrupted Emily. Locking eyes with her, JJ couldn’t help but soften her gaze at the brunette as she realized just how badly this case was affecting her. Emily’s knee was bouncing and her hands seemed to play with themselves. _We can’t take this case. Does nobody else in this room seem to realize just how alike JJ and the victims look. They could be siblings for fucks sake._ Emily’s breath seemed labored and she didn’t even want to look at the file in front of her for another second.

Before JJ could respond, Hotch cut in, “we’re taking this case because of the signature.” He nodded to the blonde, in which she then clicked to the next set of pictures. She turned away from the screen, her face morphing into one of disgust, “each victim had a message carved into their back.” The team stared on in horror as they read what was shown.

**Tick tock. Her time is running out. You won’t find me. I’m just getting started.**

“No. Please don’t tell me we have to go look for an unsub who seems to be killing exact replicas of JJ,” stated Emily. She stared at JJ, pleading to see reason and to not take the case, no matter how selfish it seemed because she was keeping a secret no one knew. _I won’t let the woman I love willingly put herself in harm’s way_.

Hotch responded, “Emily. I know none of us want to investigate a case like this, but we have to. If we don’t, there’s no telling how bad the spree is going to get. That said, Garcia will update us if anything happens and we’ll brainstorm on the plane. Wheels up in twenty.” David was the first to leave the room. Soon after was Derek and Spencer. As Hotch was about to leave, he glanced back at the women for a split second before going to get his things in order.

As soon as Hotch was out the door, Emily shot up out of her seat and rushed towards the blonde, who was still standing by the screen. She grasped both of her hands desperately. “JJ, please, at least tell me you’re not going. You have to see the resemblance between you and the victims. I’m not going to let you get hurt. Please don’t come with us,” pleaded Emily.

JJ squeezed her hands, “well if you’re not going to let me get hurt, then I don’t really see an issue. Emily, even if I didn’t want to come, who’s going to handle the media when things get bad. They already started calling him The Messenger. I’ll be fine, the team will protect me.” She smiled gratefully at the woman in front of her, “I’ll be ok Em, don’t worry so much.” She slid her hands from the brunette’s grasp and walked out the door, towards her office.

Emily ’s heart felt heavy as she watched her retreating form. _How can I not worry about you? I love you._

On the jet, the team just ended their call with Garcia, and as soon as she cut the line by saying, “I’m like the wind: back in a flash... or is that lightning?,” the air was so tense, it could’ve been cut with a knife. Dave sat in front of Hotch, the two brainstorming ideas about the unsub. Morgan and Spencer were talking, mostly about the case, but every once in a while, Morgan would try to lighten the mood by talking about Spencer’s haircut. The two would crack a smile before they resumed talking about the horrors of the case.

Towards the back of the jet, JJ was looking through the file when she felt someone occupy the seat next to her. She glanced up and saw Emily place two cups of coffee on the table in front of them. “Oh thank god,” the blonde exhaled, “you don’t even know how much I need this,” she sighed. Pulling the steaming mug up towards her face and taking a deep breath, she exhaled, “I needed this more than I realized.” After taking a sip from the steaming dark liquid, she looked up to see Emily staring at her.

 _How can someone look perfect while drinking coffee? Oh who am I kidding, she always looks perfect._ Realizing she was caught gawking, Emily instantly looked away, a flush creeping up her face. “Sorry,” she mumbled. Trying not to make it more awkward between the two, Emily opened up her case file, “so what are your thoughts about how the unsub kills them?”

Amused, JJ states, “I don’t think they actually know which way they prefer killing yet. Yes, while the unsub doesn’t have any hesitation marks, it seems as if this is their first time because of all the different COD’s. So I think they’re trying to figure out which way excites them the most.”

“The carving of the messages in their backs are exciting enough,” grumbled Emily. She attempted to pay more attention to the photos, but every time she looked at a victim, all she could see was JJ lying there with her eyes open, all cut up and bloody. She shook her head, as if to clear the image from her mind. She turned to see JJ staring at her quizzically. As Emily looked into the blue eyes in front of her, she saw the question _are you okay?_ staring back at her. She nodded her head and gave a small smile, hoping to convince the woman in front of her that she shouldn’t be worried. Emily began to look at the pictures once again. She tensed up when she felt something brush along her arm, but relaxed when she realized that it was just JJ leaning her head on the brunette’s shoulder. Emily felt butterflies swarm her stomach when the smaller woman curled up into her side, seeking warmth. In a matter of seconds, JJ was out cold, leaving Emily to gaze lovingly at her, hoping and wishing that she could keep her safe from harm. Deep down though, Emily knew that not everything was in her control, and she hated it. Making sure no one was paying them any attention, she placed a loving kiss on the top of the sleeping woman’s head and when the blonde curled even more into her side, Emily wanted to capture this moment forever. _She’ll be ok. I won’t let anything happen to her._ Kept running through her head like a mantra. Soon after, she succumbed to exhaustion and let sleep take her.

Emily awoke to the feeling of the jet hitting the runway. Shaking off her grogginess, she looked down next to her and felt the butterflies rise up yet once again when she saw the blonde still curled up into her side. She smiled at the sleeping woman before shaking her slightly. “Come on Jayje. You need to wake up, we’re here,” whispered Emily.

In response, JJ grunted and shifted farther into Emily’s side. “Not yet,” she grumbled. Hearing a bark of laughter, she peeked her eyes open and looked up at the woman laughing at her. “It’s not funny Em. I barely slept and I’m tired. I need more coffee,” JJ complained. She reached across the table and picked up Emily’s coffee and took a long sip. Looking over the rim of the glass, she saw Emily attempting to stifle her laughter behind a smirk. She gently smacked the older woman’s arm and feigned shock. “You dare laugh at me Prentiss, well we’ll see who’s laughing when I finish your coffee,” joked JJ.

As Emily smiled at her, the blonde could see her eyes gleaming with mischief, but before she was able to act on it, Hotch’s voice boomed over the jet, “Prentiss, you’re with Morgan. You two go to the crime scenes and see if we missed anything. Reid and David, you two go to the morgue and try and find more information about the COD’s and messages. JJ and I will head to the police precinct to set up. Jennifer I need you to start handling the media and get rid of that ridiculous name. It only fuels the unsub’s desire.”

“Sir, I don’t mean any disrespect, but you can’t seriously consider putting JJ in front of all those cameras when all the victims look exactly like her,” argued Emily. She looked at the blonde next to her with worry shining in her eyes.

JJ reached for Emily’s hand and squeezed it softly, “I’ll be fine Em, like I said, I have you and the team to protect me. Hotch is right, I need to handle the media. That’s my job.”

“But-,” Emily started again, but when she looked at Hotch, she knew there was no point in arguing. She excused herself from JJ’s grasp and went towards the bathroom, pulling out her phone and dialing the only number she thought could help.

“Office of Unfettered Omniscience. Penelope Garcia is in. Speak, oh fortunate one,” rang Penelope’s voice through the line. Emily smiled to herself and reminded herself to check if Penelope was on anything. “I need you to do me a favor PG. Can you please keep an eye on JJ? Track her location, make sure she’s ok. It doesn’t matter to me as long as she isn’t in danger,” Emily requested. Garcia’s voice rang out, “of course E, you know how important she is to all of us. I know you guys won’t let anything happen to her, but if it makes you feel better, I can keep an eye on her. Just in case.” “Thank you, I’m just worried about her, and it seems like I’m the only one. It’s frustrating,” fumed Emily. “I know sweet cheeks, but it’s a part of the job,” reminded Garcia. “I know, I know. But it doesn’t make it any easier. Thanks Pen, I’ll keep you updated,” Emily responded. “Over and out,” chirped Garcia. Turning back towards the team, she let her eyes roam over each member before they settled on the blonde who was looking out the window with a look on her face that Emily couldn’t seem to decipher. _I have to tell her. She has to know before something happens, because with our team’s luck, something is going to happen. Grow up Prentiss, just tell her. What’s the worst that could happen? We could stop talking completely and she could act like I don’t even exist. Fuck Prentiss, just tell her already._ After boosting her confidence, Emily began walking towards JJ in hopes of finally telling her how she’s felt for so long. Emily noticed that when JJ saw that she was walking towards her, a smile lit up the blonde’s face which was immediately mirrored by the older woman. Emily slid in next to JJ and reached for her hands. Clearing her throat and staring down at their entwined hands, Emily began, “Jen, there really isn’t a good time to say this, but I have to say it. Please forgive me, but I have to tell you. Jennifer I-” “We have to hit the ground rolling. Let’s go everyone,” interrupted Hotch. “Just perfect,” Emily mumbled. She looked up into the crystal blue eyes and sighed, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell you later.” _Or never._ The blonde simply nodded and gave Emily one of her dazzling smiles.

While on the jet, Morgan was able to witness the entire scene unfold. As he and Emily were walking onto the crime scenes, he questioned, “so princess. What was that on the jet?” Nearly choking on the water she was drinking, Emily managed to sputter out, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Derek merely laughed and nodded, “Alright princess, but just know, I’ll find out soon enough.” Emily glared at him as she walked up to the fourth victim’s body. As soon as they arrived at the body and saw the message **I’m just getting started** carved into her back, both put the topic at hand in the back of their heads and focused on the case.

Spencer and Rossi were chatting amongst themselves as they waited for the autopsy results. “It’s strange that the unsub hasn’t settled on a COD, especially because it seems as if carving the messages is really what gets them off. I would think that since they enjoy carving them in, they would also want the victim to die by knife,“ inquired Spencer. With a grimace, Rossi realized that the kid is right, yet once again, “well, maybe the unsub just gets off on the whole ordeal and it doesn’t matter what they use to kill the victims. Maybe they kill the victims based on whatever’s easiest in the moment.” As Spencer was thinking about it, the forensic pathologist walked in with some information. She began, “so we got the results from the autopsy and let me tell you guys, it isn’t pretty. So it seems as if the victims had the messages carved into their backs while they were alive.” Pausing so she could register the reactions of the agents in front of her, she wasn’t shocked when she saw the disgust and horror flash on their faces. She continued, “based on the laceration marks on their wrists, it seems like they were suspended from something and their feet were barely scraping the floor. They were severely dehydrated and it seems like they were kept for a span of three days, if not shorter. Here’s the crazy bit though, the COD for each victim was actually the same. They all bled out.” Shock ran across Spencer’s features before morphing into understanding, “the victims died when the message was carved into their backs. The rest of it was forensic countermeasure.” At this point, Rossi wasn’t shocked with the news, the only indication that he had even registered what had been said was how his shoulders drooped lower and the fatigue on his face became more prominent. “Alright kid, let’s get back to the team and let them know what we found out,” Rossi sighed. Both agents thanked the forensic pathologist and began their drive down to the precinct.

At the precinct, JJ was attempting to control the media as Hotch began to set up the team’s room. Bracing herself for all the questions, she took a deep breath and began, “I know you all have questions, and I’ll try to answer them as best as I can, but the first thing that needs to happen is the name, The Messenger, needs to be forgotten. Call the killer an unsub. Giving the unsub a name only fuels their desire to kill again. Now, any questions?” A flurry of hands shot up and voices seemed to ring out from all directions. One reporter managed to make his question heard by the media liaison, “should everyone be worried about being next, or does the unsub have a specific type?” “As of now, they do seem to have a specific type, but everyone should be vigilant, and if you see or hear something, say something,” JJ managed to reply before she was barraged with more questions. “What does the police know?” “Do you have any suspects?” “Is there an end goal or is it just for entertainment?” “Where is the rest of your team now?” “Have you ever seen something like this before” Before she was able to answer any of the endless questions, one question in particular made her freeze in place. “You look like them. Do you think you’re the ‘her’ that was referenced in the message ‘ **her time is running out** ’ because you look alike?” Unable to form an answer, she simply responded, “that’s all the time we have for questions,” and walked off the stage and back into the precinct. She rushed to the bathroom in hopes of calming her nerves. She leaned over the sink, gripping the edge until her knuckles turned white. After what felt like hours, her breathing finally evened out and the tears in her eyes were no longer there. She washed her face and fixed her hair before she walked out, not noticing the worried look that was sent her way by none other than the brunette.

The team gathered in the room and began debriefing each other on the new information each of them found. As Emily passed by JJ, she reached out and squeezed her shoulder, signaling to the younger agent that she wasn’t alone. JJ looked up at Emily gratefully, eyes shining with a thank you. As Emily took her seat by JJ, she was surprised when the blonde grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together under the table.

As the room settled, Hotch was the first to speak, “Morgan and Prentiss, what did you two find out?” “Not much that we didn’t already know. We know he has a secondary location because there wasn’t any blood at the crime scene. They were all positioned where the message was clearly visible meaning it’s the most important thing to the unsub. None of the victims were placed in the same place, but all of them were placed in a location where there would be a large majority of people,” Derek informed the team. “So the unsub wants the victims to be found. He wants his message to be broadcasted,” concluded JJ. Emily spared a glance at the woman next to her, giving her hand a squeeze causing JJ to smile slightly. Emily jumped in, “we already know that the unsub’s evil, what did you two find out at the morgue?”

Before Rossi was able to debrief the team on the new information, Spencer interrupted, “evil can’t be scientifically defined. It’s an illusory moral concept that doesn’t exist in nature. Its origins and connotations have been inextricably linked to religion and mythology.” As he looked around, he saw all of the confused faces and decided to drop it, motioning to Rossi to take over. With a smile tugging at his lips, Rossi thanked Spencer for the information, “Thanks for that boy wonder, but what we found at the morgue does explain a lot. It turns out that the actual COD of all the victims was blood loss. They were all alive when they had the messages carved into their backs and that’s how they died.” Hotch intervened, “I think this means that we can believe that this unsub is experienced because their cuts are clean without any hesitation marks. That said, I believe it’s a Caucasian male in their early to mid thirties because as we saw in the crime scene photos, the unsub placed the bodies in an area where there’s nothing there. So the unsub would have to carry the bodies from their car to the drop off location which would take a large amount of strength.” Reid decided to jump in, “unsubs don’t tend to cross racial lines so he would be Caucasian because all of his victims are Caucasian. Since all his victims are in their mid twenties, he should-“

The phone ringing cut Spencer off and when the line was answered, Penelope’s voice rang out, “hello my big beautiful crime fighters. I come with bad news, like bad bad, like all the puppy photos on the internet got deleted bad.” Everyone tensed up waiting for Penelope to continue, “Anyways, back to the case. There’s been another body.” Emily turned towards JJ to see that the color drained out of her face and her jaw was clenched. With her free hand, Emily rubbed small circles on JJ’s back, attempting to comfort her. Leaning into her touch, JJ all but curled up into Emily, seeking protection from the news that was just dropped. “Unfortunately, that’s not all. The message that was carved into her back said **I’m coming for her** ,” Penelope continued. As soon as the words left Penelope’s mouth, the reporter’s question from earlier in the day bounced around in JJ’s head. _Do you think you’re the her?_ The contents in her stomach threatened to come out so she jumped out of her seat and rushed to the bathroom, where she then relieved her contents into the toilet. “Thanks Garcia,” Hotch replied. He turned towards the brunette who was looking where the blonde ran and nodded in her direction, causing her to run after the younger woman.

As soon as Emily opened the bathroom door, she was hit with the sound of sobbing coming from one of the stalls. She cautiously opened the stall and was broken when she looked down at the woman in front of her. JJ’s eyes were getting red from the tears and her cheeks were stained from the falling tears. Emily opened her arms and JJ practically jumped into them, seeking comfort from the only person that she knew could help. “Come here Jen, I got you,” reassured the older agent. JJ clung onto her like she was a lifeline because she essentially was. Emily kept running her hands through the blonde’s hair and rubbing small circles on her back while whispering sweet nothings into her ear in hopes of calming her down. For the two of them, it was like they were in their own little bubble where no one could hurt them. As JJ was finally able to even out her breathing, she pulled back from Emily’s grasp slightly. She looked up into Emily’s eyes, silently thanking her for everything.

As Emily looked at the woman in front of her, she felt the urge to lean in, but she couldn’t do that to her, especially after everything that just happened. So she simply glanced down, wishing that she could kiss the blonde and tell her how she feels. _God I love her. When we make it out of this, I’m going to tell her._ Instead, Emily pulled her back into an embrace, kissed the top of her head, and pulled her out of the restroom, where the team was waiting for them. Hotch looked at Emily, questioning whether the blonde was ok or not. She simply shrugged and focused her attention back on the younger agent.

Hotch called out, “That’s all we can do for today, everyone head back to the hotel. Everyone gets their own room. Except for Jennifer and Prentiss. I want you two sharing a room just in case something were to happen, it’s safer.” Both women were secretly overjoyed because even if Hotch didn’t give them a room together, they would’ve ended up in the same room.

After a short car ride that was filled with silence, the team arrived at their hotel. Courtesy of Penelope, the team’s rooms were all next to each other. As Derek was closing his door, he called out, “goodnight mom, dad, princesses, and pretty boy.” The women scoffed and shared a quick smile with the agent as they walked into their respective room, locking the door behind them.

“I call the left side of the bed,” Emily said almost immediately, her eyes twinkling with joy. In response, JJ pouted, “you always get the left side.” Emily let out a laugh, “because it’s my side,” and began undressing so she could change into her pajamas. JJ grumbled a reply that couldn’t be heard by the older agent, but she still put her go-bag on the right side. She unzipped it and began shuffling through its contents, looking for a big t-shirt and shorts.

Emily plopped down on the corner of the bed once she was done and watched the blonde carefully. After the blonde shifted through all of the content in the bag, and didn’t find what she was looking for, she turned and looked at Emily, who had her mouth quirked up into a smile. JJ didn’t understand why until she took a closer look and realized that the other woman was wearing the clothes she just spent ten minutes looking for. Before JJ could protest, Emily explained, “you took my coffee earlier, so I’m taking your clothes.” _Not to mention, they smell like her._ Unable to say no to Emily, JJ simply questioned, “well then, what am I supposed to wear to bed?” Emily reached behind her and pulled out her own pajamas, handing them to the blonde. JJ snatched the clothes from her outstretched arm and began undressing while muttering about how Emily should wear her own clothes. Unable to help herself, the older agent gawked at JJ’s body when she was undressing. Feeling eyes on her, JJ looked up and locked eyes with Emily which caused her face to redden. Emily instantly looked away, ashamed that she was caught gawking. _What is wrong with me? I’ve seen her change a million times before. What’s so different about this time?_

Once she was done changing, JJ set her go-bag on the floor next to the bed and jumped under the covers, wrapping herself up like a burrito. She patted the empty spot next to her, her head peeking out from under the covers to look at Emily. The brunette couldn’t stifle her laughter at the sight in front of her, so she simply turned off the lights and crawled under the covers next to the blonde, mimicking her burrito position. The smiles that were on their faces reached their ears.

Suddenly, the smile that lit up JJ’s face disappeared and she instantly turned sombre. “Em, do you think I’m the her that the unsub’s talking about? I don’t want to be. God I really hope I’m not, but I can’t come up with another idea of who she might be,” JJ whispered. Emily didn’t respond, instead, she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman and pulled her close, running her hand through the long blonde hair while tracing imaginary circles on her back. This caused JJ to rest her head in the crook of Emily’s neck, breathing in her comforting scent. The two stayed in this position for what seemed like an eternity. When Emily felt JJ’s breath even out, she kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I love you.” Hidden from the brunette, the blonde smiled to herself. _I love you too_.

The next morning, JJ woke up entangled in Emily’s arms. She shifted so she could gaze upon the sleeping woman next to her, taking in every feature, lingering on her lips. Suddenly, they moved, “didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s not nice to stare at people Jayje?” She gave the blonde a lopsided grin as she peeked one eye open. JJ scoffed, grabbed a pillow, and smacked the older woman in the face, unable to hold in her laughter as Emily feigned hurt. “We both know I’d absolutely destroy you in a pillow fight Jen. You don’t want to start with me,” she joked. Putting the pillows back on the bed, the brunette stretched, hoping to shake off her grogginess. Sighing, she got out of the bed, pulling the younger woman up with her, “even though I don’t want to, we have to get ready and get down to the precinct.” Looking up into Emily’s eyes, JJ asked, “coffee?” The brunette simply nodded with a smile ghosting her lips and went to grab her go-bag so she could get ready for work.

After their quick coffee stop, the women walked into the precinct with a coffee for everyone, the both of them sitting next to each other once again. As they took their places around the table, Morgan called Garica. Before the first ring even ended, the line was answered and Penelope’s voice rang out, “challenge me, you beautiful behavioral analyst.” Letting out a laugh, Morgan requested, “hey baby girl, I need you to find all Caucasian males who are in their early to mid thirties.” “I need more to cut down the list crime fighters. This list is a whopper,” Penelope responded. It was Reid’s voice who cut through next, “he would have a normal job that gave him a lot of free time to be able to abduct, torture, and kill the women. He would have to own a large property because he needs a lot of space and his victims need to be isolated.” Emily jumped in, “he would be single since he doesn’t have time for a significant other because he’s spending most of his time with his victims.” “Ok my beauties, I’ll hit you back when I have more. Garcia out,” Penelope replied as she ended the call. Hotch stood up out of his seat and began assigning his team tasks, ‘’Prentiss, I want you and JJ to try and control the media. They’re having a field day with the fifth victim. Morgan and Rossi, you two try and shorten the list that Garcia has. Reid, work on the geographical profile. I’ll head over to the fifth victim’s crime scene and look over everything we have to see if we missed anything.” As the team walked out to complete their assignments, Hotch pulled Emily back, “Keep her safe Prentiss. I didn’t want her on her own, especially since that last victim.” She nodded in a silent promise that she wouldn’t let anything happen to the blonde.

In the SUV, Emily tried her best to watch over JJ while keeping her eyes on the road. JJ’s knee was bouncing up and down and her breathing seemed forced. Noticing the distress behind the movements, Emily pulled off to the side, putting the car in park. She reached over the center console and gripped both of JJ’s hands, running her thumbs along the soft knuckles. Emily looked into JJ’s eyes, seeing the fear that was shining through. “Come on Jayje, you know you can talk to me. Please let me in,” pleaded Emily. Dropping her eyes from Emily’s, because they were staring at her intensely. “I know I can Em, it’s just hard. Yes I’m scared for my safety, I mean who wouldn’t be, but I’m terrified for your safety,” JJ confessed. Emily was speechless after hearing the blonde’s confession, so JJ decided to remove herself from Emily’s grasp and turn towards the window, letting her thoughts consume her. _If I know she loves me, why can’t I just tell her that I love her? Oh God, how I want to be with her. I just can’t let her get hurt because of me._ Emily turned towards the steering wheel, unsure of what to do except to keep driving. The rest of the ride to the conference was silent, both women engrossed in their own minds.

Rossi and Derek were looking over the list that Penelope managed to send. Every once in a while, a name would get crossed off because the man didn’t seem to fit the profile. It took a total of roughly three hours and two coffee pots to get through all the names. When Derek finally leaned back into his chair, done looking at the final suspect on the list, he sighed from sheer exhaustion, “Damn Rossi, Penelope was right, that was one hell of a list.” Derek dialled Penelope and after a minute, they heard “He who seeks the Queen of All Knowledge, speak and be recognized.” Chuckling to himself, Derek managed to inform Garcia about the new list, “hey baby girl, we cut down the list to 7 men, we need you to dig deeper on them and let us know what you find.” “Like you even have to ask. Back in a flash,” Garcia responded and ended the call. Rossi stood, grabbing the files on the table, “let’s go see if Hotch could use any help.” The two men cleaned up the office and closed the door behind them as they left.

Reid was looking through the geographical profile that they had in place, updating it with new information from the most recent murder. He was able to map out a circle with a radius of twenty miles. As he looked at the map, he saw a few properties that would be perfect for the unsub. _I have to talk to Garcia and see if she can find anything out about the houses in this area._ After he was satisfied with the geographical profile, Reid left the room so he could update Hotch and Penelope.

The conference took a toll on both agents. Emily spent a majority of her time making sure JJ was ok after particularly difficult questions. As soon as they left the conference, Emily felt as if she was being watched so she glanced around, but when she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, she shook off her chills and resumed walking towards the SUV with JJ. When they got to the car, the women decided to head to the precinct to see if their team had any new leads. Although music was playing in the background, both agents were silent, each sorting through the thoughts that occupied their minds. After what seemed like an eternity, JJ was the first to speak, “Emily. There’s been something on my mind and I have to tell you before it’s too late.” Emily glanced at the blonde quizzically, completely oblivious to what the younger agent was trying to say. _You already started, you can’t just leave her hanging, just tell her. You know how she feels about you. Just do it already Jareau._ Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, JJ continued, “the other night, when you-”

Suddenly, the car was rammed, causing Emily to hit her head on the steering wheel and lose consciousness. In desperation, JJ grabbed the wheel and attempted to keep the car from crashing, but there was no use. The car drove into a lamppost, causing the airbags to expand. The smell of gasoline that was in the air was easily recognizable. There was destruction everywhere. Pieces of metal and glass littered the ground. Smoke billowed through from under the hood of the damaged car. The last thing JJ saw before she lost consciousness was Emily slumped in her seat, blood pouring from the cut on her head. She reached out weakly, cupping Emily’s pale cheek before dropping her hand. She whispered, “I love you too Em,” and succumbed to the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! This is my first fanfic so lemme know what you guys think. There will be a second part that’s gonna be posted. It’s already written and ready to go. I hope you guys enjoy the story!


	2. I Love You

Emily woke to the sound of sirens. Everything was blurry and her head was pounding. In a futile attempt, she covered her ears, trying to block out all the noise. _What happened? Why does my head hurt so fucking much?_ Suddenly it all came rushing back. _JJ._ Emily instantly turned towards the passenger seat causing stars to flash against her eyelids. “Ugh,” she let out a groan of pain. When the stars faded and she was able to see, Emily was terrified to see that the passenger seat was empty. A feeling of dread settled in her heart as her eyes laid upon a note that was placed on the seat like it was mocking the agent. With a shaking hand, she reached over and picked up the paper. She opened the note and when she read the three words, her world stopped.

**I have her.**

The paper dropped from her hands, fluttering down onto her lap. She pushed open the car door, leaning over the side and emptying her stomach contents. She felt hands grip her shoulders. Derek shouted, “come on princess, snap out of it. I need you to focus,” but everything was muffled. All she could hear was her own voice in her head. _The unsub has JJ. He has the woman I love_ . _It’s my fault._ The next hour felt like it passed by in slow motion. Emily was checked over by the paramedics. The cut on her head was stitched up and she was told to take it easy for a couple days. _Take it easy. Sure, I’ll take it easy when I have JJ back in my arms safe and sound._

Derek opted to drive Emily back to the precinct while the rest of the team met them there. As she slid into the passenger seat, tears pricked her eyes. She willed herself not to cry. _I have to be strong for JJ. I can’t cry right now._ Before starting the car, Derek looked over at the brunette, noticing how she was closing herself off. “Nuh uh princess, I know that we have to get back to find JJ, but talk to me. Don’t shut everything in, not again,” he requested. The simple request was too much for Emily and the tears that she tried holding back fell down, leaving a trail along her cheeks. “I can’t Derek. It’s my fault she’s gone. I should’ve seen the car coming. I should’ve protected her. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault,” she sobbed, dropping her head into her hands. Unable to comfort his friend with words, he reached over and began rubbing small circles on her back. Once Emily’s breath evened out, Derek turned to start the car, but he heard such a faint whisper, he wasn’t sure if he imagined it, “I love her.” His hand froze, a mere centimeters from the ignition, “well princess, it’s about time you admitted it.” He looked over and when he saw the shocked reaction from the woman, he cracked a small smile. “Emily, you’re not as subtle as you think. The entire team knows. Hell, Garcia was the first to figure it out. Not to mention the jet incident,” Derek explained. Emily was silent after hearing the confession. The silence was only broken by Derek when he promised, “we’ll get her back princess.” Emily had one thought. _I’m coming JJ. I promise._

As soon as the team got to the precinct, they got to work. Emily’s phone rang, glancing upon the number, her stomach dropped when JJ’s name flashed across the screen. Everyone gathered around her as she answered. Fear dripping from her voice, “Jayje, please tell me you’re ok. Tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up.” “My my. Her knight in shining armor, I’m sorry to say, but you won’t be finding her,” a man’s voice rang out. Derek immediately dialed Penelope and she answered almost immediately, “baby girl, I need you to track JJ’s phone.” “I have been ever since you guys landed in Washington, but as soon as she got into the crash, I lost the signal” Penelope confessed. Hearing the clacking of keys on the other end, the team held their breath waiting. The only person who wasn’t focused on Penelope was Emily. Desperate, she pleaded, “please, whoever you are, let her go. I’ll do anything. Just don’t hurt her.” Hearing the laughter from the other end of the line, Emily’s stomach turned over itself, “you don’t have anything I want. Goodbye agent Prentiss.” The call cut off, causing Emily to drop to her knees, despair taking over as sobs shook her body. Penelope’s voice rang out, her voice breaking, “I don’t- I don’t understand. I wasn’t able to track it. He had the signal bouncing around different towers.” Derek was fuming, “who in the hell does this son of a bitch think he is.” Anger crossed Hotch’s features for a split second so the team wasn’t sure if they imagined it. He called out, “Garcia, look into the list and narrow it down as much as you can. Do it fast. Reid, look over the geographical profile, I want you to cut it down. Work with Garcia to eliminate as much as you can. Rossi, look over the crime scene photos and see if we missed anything. Morgan and Prentiss. You two have to look into the victim’s lives, find out what connected them. Find out how the unsub got to them. I’ll handle the media.” Derek crouched down to Emily and enveloped her into a hug as the rest of the team got started. One second she was sobbing into his shirt and the next it was as if nothing happened. She got up and wiped at her eyes, “we don’t have any time to waste,” she stated. _I’m gonna get this son of a bitch. Hang in there Jen. I love you._

The first thing JJ felt when she woke up was pain. Her body seemed to hurt everywhere. With a groan, she lifted her head and peaked her eyes open. As her vision cleared, she realized that she was being suspended in the middle of a dim lit room. Her feet were barely scraping the floor and the more she tried moving, the deeper the rope dug into her skin. She cried out in pain when the rope rubbed along her raw wrists. She looked around the room, noticing how it was completely barren except for a chair in front of her and a door. Suddenly, the door opened, causing JJ to turn her head from the sudden change in light. Keeping her eyes closed, she heard shoes padding across the floor until they stopped in front of her. She held her breath, waiting. Her silence was met with a stinging slap across her face, causing her head to turn roughly. Holding in her cries, she looked up at the unsub with hatred in her eyes. His face turned into a sneer, “this is going to be more fun than I thought.” His voice sounded like his words were scraping across sandpaper. JJ had to crane her neck to look him in his eyes. Blue eyes locked onto brown eyes. His eyes gleamed with something menacing, “we’ll see how long you can last. Hopefully you’ll be more fun than the others.” He gripped her face roughly, causing her to thrash, attempting to free herself from his grip, “you’ll learn your place soon enough.” He let her go, causing her chin to drop against her chest. Before he walked out, he turned to the blonde and pointed to a camera in the corner that she didn’t notice before, “say hello to your team. Give Emily my regards.” JJ’s head snapped up at the name. “Don’t you dare hurt her,” she screamed. He simply laughed, “all in due time Jareau, all in due time,” and walked out, shutting the door behind him. _Emily. I can’t let her get hurt. God. Please keep her safe. I love you Em. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry._ She turned towards the camera, grief stricken across her features, she mouthed, “I’m sorry,” before she let herself fall unconscious.

Penelope was sitting in her lair when she got an email from an anonymous user. Out of curiosity, she clicked the link included. Her breath caught in her throat when the video popped up on her screen. “Oh no. This is bad. This is so so bad,” she gasped.

The team was working in the precinct like a machine when Hotch’s phone rang. He picked it up, answering immediately, “what is it Garcia?” “You guys have to see this,” she replied breathlessly. They turned their attention to the screen in the front of the room, freezing when the video of JJ bloody and limp came up. Emily’s breathing became labored when she saw her love hanging from the ceiling, feet barely scraping the floor, and a red mark growing on her cheek. “No,” she whispered. Morgan’s jaw clenched, his eyes roaming over the blonde. Reid was frozen in shock when he saw the woman who was practically his older sister in such a state. Rossi had tears pricking his eyes as soon as the video popped up. Hotch seemed unfazed by the video which angered Emily, but his eyes told a different story. “Track it Garcia,” he yelled out. “I’m already trying sir,” she cried, “but nothing’s coming up. The signal’s bouncing across different towers.” The team turned back to the screen when the audio suddenly turned on. Dread settled in the pit of Emily’s stomach when she heard a door opening and the thud of footsteps. On screen, JJ’s head snapped up when the footsteps stopped. Unable to see the unsub, the team had to focus on JJ’s facial features. The same voice that had talked to Emily on the phone earlier rang out from the TV, “now, if you want some water, you have to behave.” In response, the blonde spit in his face causing a scream of outrage. The blonde’s head snapped to the side when she was met with a slap. Her groans of pain caused Emily’s heart to shatter. Looking at the screen, the team felt despair when the unsub sent a flurry of punches across JJ’s ribs. After a particularly strong one, JJ cried out. “He must have broken a rib. Her breathing looks like it’s getting shallow,” Reid noticed. Seemingly satisfied with himself, the unsub’s footsteps sounded like they were fading. JJ turned towards the camera and with a groan of pain, she whispered, “he has bro-“ then the audio cut off. Emily jumped out of her seat, rushing towards the TV, “No!” she cried out. The brunette stared into the blonde’s eyes through the screen, and it was almost as if JJ felt it because she stared into the camera, her features softening and her mouth forming into the words, “I love you too,” before she lost consciousness, causing her head to drop. Emily cried out, her breathing became labored. Derek pulled her into an embrace, keeping the woman from collapsing on the floor. Penelope and Emily’s sobbing was the only sound that was heard in the otherwise silent room.

When JJ woke up, she didn’t know what time or day it was. _It feels like it’s been weeks. I have to stay strong for Em, but I don’t know how much longer I can last. I need water._ Her throat was parched and when she tried to call out, it came out as nothing but a whisper, “please, I need water.” The door opened to reveal her captor. He had a smirk on his face as he strolled in the room, “well you’ll have to behave won’t you.” Unable to speak any longer, JJ nodded, hoping to get something to satisfy her thirst. Suddenly, the unsub lunged towards her, gripping the rope that was suspending her, keeping her from thrashing. He pulled out a knife that JJ didn’t see until it was too late. He used the tip of the knife to rip her shirt down the middle. She tried getting out of his reach but it was useless. He was fixated on her tan stomach, pulling the knife up to scrape along it. JJ let out a groan of pain when the knife broke through her skin, leaving a trail of blood in its wake. This continued for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only a minute. When he was satisfied with his work, he put the knife away and ran his fingers along the cuts, causing JJ to cry out. Smearing the blood across her abdomen, the unsub reached up and cupped JJ’s face, causing the blood to mark her face. He patted her cheek, turning away with a grin on his face and walked out.

Emily was the only one who saw the entire scene unfold. She gripped the edge of the seat until her knuckles turned white. Her jaw clenched and the hatred in her grew. She stared at the blonde, praying that they could catch a break. On the screen, JJ coughs racked her whole body. When her body stilled, Emily’s fear grew. As she watched JJ, she was heartbroken to see the frail agent’s body shake with sobs. The tears ran down her face, washing away the blood that was smeared on. Unable to see more, Emily turned from the screen, staring at her phone, willing it to ring with good news. Garcia’s contact popped up on the screen, and praying that it wasn’t a cruel joke from the universe, Emily picked it up, “please PG, tell me we have something to go off on.” “I was able to cut down the list to three men. I already told Hotch. The team is going to the properties and see if they can find her,” informed Garcia. She continued, “go find her E,” and cut the line. Emily rushed out of the room, running up to her team. Hotch glanced at her and started, “Reid and Morgan, you two head to the Smith property. Prentiss and Rossi, head to the Johnson property. I’ll head to the Cox residence with the captain.” The team grabbed their vests and rushed to the cars.

Derek and Spencer got to the Smith property as the sun was setting, the orange glow washing over the house. As cop cars drove in behind the agents, they rushed from the SUV and towards the front door. Their guns in their hands, Derek pounded on the door, ”FBI! Open up!” After not getting a response, he nodded to Spencer to brace himself. Morgan then kicked the door open, allowing Spencer to walk in first. The two split, each followed by a cop while they searched the property. They searched every part of the house, anger and fear growing every time they walked into an empty room. By the time they finished searching the house, the sun had set completely and the sky was getting dark fast. Frustrated because they didn’t find anyone, Derek called Hotch, “there’s no one here man. She’s not here Hotch.” Hotch replied with the one answer he was dreading, “she’s not here either. Head to the Johnson residence. I haven’t heard anything from Prentiss or Rossi.” Jumping into the SUV, Derek pulled out of the driveway, speeding towards the third residence.

Not willing to wait for backup, Emily rushed towards the house, causing David to chase after her. She craned her neck towards the door to see if she could hear anything, but when she didn’t hear a sound, she tried opening the door. Realizing that the door was locked, she got down onto her knees to pick it while David kept watch. After a couple minutes of antagonizing silence, the two were relieved when the click of the lock rang out, causing the door to swing open. Picking up her gun, Emily cautiously stepped into the house, her eyes straining to see in the dark. Dave motioned towards the stairs, telling her that he was going to search upstairs. Emily nodded in response and ventured further into the house. Unable to find anything in the living room, she moved towards the kitchen and dining room. The place was eerily quiet, the only sound that she heard were her own footsteps, causing chills to run down her spine. After she cleared both rooms, she turned towards the hallway. Seeing a staircase leading to darkness, she couldn’t wait for Rossi so she cautiously ventured down the stairs. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw a single door leading into a faintly light room. Swinging the door wide open with her gun drawn, she held her breath as her eyes scanned the room. If she didn’t notice the blood stains on the floor or the chain hanging from the middle of the room, she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done. _She’s not here. That son of a bitch still has her._ Even though the blonde was no longer here, she felt a surge of hope when she realized that she still had to be alive, otherwise the unsub wouldn’t have moved her. _I’m coming JJ. I promise._

To JJ, it felt like they were walking for hours. She wasn’t sure which direction they came from. All she knew was that they were moving for a reason. She realized what was happening, “they found you, didn’t they? I knew they’d find me. You’re nothing compared to them. Compared to Em-” she was cut off when he threw her on the ground, causing the air to leave her lungs. Chest heaving, she tried taking deep breaths, each one hurting her ribs more than the last. “Shut up,” he whispered menacingly. “Or what? You’ll kill me,” JJ egged him on. He let out yell of rage, “I said shut up you stupid bitch!” The next thing she knew, his foot was flying towards her face. She couldn’t bring her hands up fast enough. She had one thought. _Emily_. Then his foot connected with the side of her temple and then she was out cold.

JJ woke up tied to a post in the middle of what seemed to be a barn. It was still dark out so she wasn’t sure if it was the same day or if it was twenty-four hours later. Her head was pounding and her vision was swimming. A voice rang out from the corner, “you’re finally awake. I must’ve kicked you harder than I realized.” She heard a chair scraping across the floor as the unsub went to sit in front of her. As he sat down, he pulled something out from behind his back. The blonde turned away from him when she saw the moonlight gleaming off the knife, but that wasn’t the only thing she saw. “You know, you were the best one I had,” he claimed. She looked at the knife again, hoping to see what was on it. Angered by her silence, the unsub lunged towards her, holding the knife up to her throat. When he brought the knife closer to her, she realized what was on it. _Blood? I don’t feel any new cuts, it can’t be mine. Who’s blo-_ Her thoughts were interrupted when the unsub realized that she was staring at the knife. Pulling it back, he roared with laughter, “you’re trying to figure out who’s blood this is, aren’t you agent Jareau? Well, let me tell you a little secret.” He leaned in next to her ear, causing her to turn away, and whispered, “it’s your precious lover’s. Emily.” She instantly turned her head towards him, staring at him, fear prominent on her face. “No. No. You’re lying. You have to be,” she mumbled. Satisfied with her reaction, he pulled back and continued, “you should have heard her. She kept begging that you don’t get hurt. She was pathetic-” JJ interrupted him, shouting, “no! Don’t talk about her like that. You don’t even deserve to say her name.” Realizing that she went too far, her eyes shot up to stare at him, scared of what he might do to her. He simply smiled, “well you shouldn’t worry. You will be joining her soon enough Jennifer.” He turned away from her and walked out of the barn, leaving the blonde to be consumed with grief. Her sobs ripped from her throat, leaving her out of breath and shaking. Unable to process the information that her love was gone, her body felt numb. All she could do was stare at the empty chair, reminiscing about all their memories together. The memory that she held onto was their night in the hotel room. Emily’s words ringing in her head as tears streamed down her face. _I love you._

The team gathered outside of the Johnson house, planning their next move. Emily told the team what she found, “she wasn’t there, but I did find the room where the unsub was keeping her. There was a chain hanging from the middle of the room and there were blood stains on the floor, they looked somewhat fresh.” “There was nothing upstairs except for a room filled with computers. That’s where he would’ve made the call and video ping off of different towers,” David added. Before they could add anything else, Hotch’s cell rang with Penelope’s number flashing on the screen. “Talk to me Garcia,” he answered. “I was looking into Elijah Johnson and I found a number of interesting things. The first is, his mother abandoned him when he was only six, leaving him with his grandmother. Before he was abandoned, he had frequent visits to the hospital for injuries like a broken arm, bruised eye, broken rib, and more. Every visit resulted with a different excuse, but it seemed like he was abused by his mother,” Penelope informed the team. After a beat of silence, her voice rang out again, “Oh, this is bad. JJ looks exactly like his mother.” Spencer was the first to speak, “he’s using JJ as a substitute for his mother. He feels like JJ should pay for his mother’s actions. He might even think that JJ is his mother if his rage becomes too much to handle. There’s no telling what he’ll do to her.” Penelope answered, “boy wonder’s right. I’m currently looking at the map to see if there are any properties nearby.” After a couple of seconds, a squeal of victory was heard by the team, “there’s an abandoned barn three miles northeast of your current location. The address has just been sent to your phones.” “You’re the best baby girl,” Derek called out. Penelope laughed, “oh don’t you know it chocolate thunder. Go get our girl back.” Before she ended the call, Penelope’s voice rang out once more, “stay safe my lovelies.” With a newfound strength, the team jumped into their SUV’s and rushed towards the barn.

JJ awoke to the feeling of her hands being untied. Her head was still throbbing from the news she received earlier. When she looked back, she was shocked to see that it was the unsub who was untying her from the post. “They’re here. Your team found us. We have to get moving,” he informed her. When she was finally free, she knew that this was her chance to stall him so she dropped to the floor. He grabbed her, roughly pulling her from the floor, “get the fuck up. This is not the time for your shit.” JJ didn’t respond, she simply let her body go slack. The two looked up to the entryway as they heard footsteps pounding towards them. The unsub pulled JJ up, wrapping one arm around her abdomen while pressing the knife to her neck with the other. Derek and Spencer ran through the front entrance, pausing when they saw the unsub threatening JJ with the knife. Soon after, Hotch came in from the left and David came in from the right. JJ’s heart shattered when she didn’t see the brunette come in, realizing that the unsub was in fact telling the truth earlier. Her body sagged from the grief and she tuned everything out, unable to stop the tears from falling down her face. Hotch’s called out, “you don’t have to do this Elijah, you’re surrounded. We know your mother hurt you and you want your revenge, but look at agent Jareau. She isn’t your mother. You have to let her go. No one else has to get hurt Johnson.” Elijah laughed at the agents, “even if I let her go, I’ll spend my life in jail, if I don’t get onto death row. Not happening. If I go down, she’s coming with me. She’ll be dead before any of you even pull the trig-” He was cut off with a gun shot that came from behind him. He dropped to the floor, blood pouring from his head, causing JJ to collapse to the floor, tears still silently streaming down her face. She heard footsteps rushing towards her and then her face was cupped, trying to make her look up. Giving in, she looked up and was shocked to see that it was Emily who was holding her up. JJ’s breath froze, “please don’t let this be some cruel dream,” she whispered. Tears shining in her eyes, Emily smiled, “I’m here Jayje. I’m here and I’m never leaving you again. I promise.” JJ smiled gratefully and leaned into Emily’s touch, closing her eyes. Emily leaned down and kissed her forehead, “you can rest now Jen. I’ve got you.” Knowing that she was safe in her love’s arms, she let sleep take her.

Emily was allowed to ride back in the ambulance with JJ. Holding her hand, to reassure herself that JJ was really there, Emily couldn’t stop gawking at her. _No matter what happens to her, she still looks beautiful._ They were halfway to the hospital when JJ coded. Emily’s body went frigid as the sound of JJ flat lining rang out. She squeezed her hand, hoping for some kind of response, but when she didn’t feel anything, she was crushed. The paramedics made Emily move to the front of the ambulance as they worked. She protested, trying to stay next to JJ for as long as she could, but she gave in when she realized that she was in their way. As she moved to the front, all she heard was the sound of JJ coding. She stared out the window, oblivious to everything around her, hoping that the paramedics could save the younger agent.

When JJ woke up, the first thing she felt was someone gripping her hand like it was a lifeline. She opened her eyes, curious to see who it was and when she laid her eyes on the brunette who was holding her hand while she was sleeping on the couch, her heart swelled with the love she felt for the woman in front of her. JJ continued to stare at Emily until she stirred, opening her eyes slowly to adjust to the brightness. The older woman’s eyes roamed the room until they settled on the blonde who was staring at her with a smile tugging at her lips. Emily instantly shot up off the couch and leaned over to hug the blonde who was more than happy to oblige. Laughing slightly, JJ joked, “well, I guess someone’s happy to see me.” Emily pulled back from their embrace but didn’t let go of the blonde, her smile reaching her ears, “of course I’m happy to see you Jen.” After a moment, the smile faded from her lips, and she whispered, “I was scared Jayje. I was scared I lost you.” Noticing the sadness behind the brunette’s expression, JJ squeezed her hands and tried to reassure her, “but you didn’t. I’m here with you, aren’t I?” Smiling softly, the brunette replied, “yeah, yeah you are.” As if remembering something, Emily’s face lit up, “Jayje. When you were held captive, did you mean it when y-” She was cut off when they heard Penelope’s excited scream, “you’re awake!” “For fucks sake,” grumbled the brunette. JJ gave Emily a glance as she laughed softly, turning to see the overly excited woman in front of her. Penelope started talking at a thousand words a minute, “Are you okay? I’m so sorry sweet cheeks, you didn’t deserve any of this. I swear if Emily didn’t shoot him, I would have made his life a living hell. No one messes with-” “I’m okay Pen. I’m scratched up, but it’s part of the job,” JJ interrupted. Before Penelope could open her mouth to disagree, the rest of the team walked in, overjoyed to see JJ awake. Since he wasn’t one for showing affection, JJ was shocked when Reid was the first to her bedside, enveloping her in a hug. “Don’t ever do that to us again,” he whispered in her ear. Unable to form words at his show of affection, she simply nodded, hugging him tighter. After a second, the two let go of each other, allowing Derek to grab JJ's hand, “you scared us there blondie.” Smiling at the man, she joked, “you had me scared for a second too ‘chocolate thunder.’ It took you guys long enough.” At the use of the nickname, Penelope whined, “only I get to call him that.” The rest of the team laughed at her sudden outburst. David walked up to JJ next, kissing the top of her head as a father would. He smiled fondly at her, “I’m glad you’re ok bellissima.” She grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly and whispered, “thank you.” The team then turned to Hotch, waiting for him to say something. He simply nodded in JJ’s direction and stated, “I’m glad you’re okay Jareau.” She nodded back, smiling at her boss who seemed to never show emotion, but she saw in his eyes just how relieved he was to have her back. The team stayed for a few more hours before Emily saw how JJ was struggling to stay awake. She made everyone leave, promising that they can come visit her tomorrow. They all left the room, one after another and the last to leave was Reid. He turned towards the blonde and called out, “I love you JJ.” The corner of her mouth quirked up, she called out, “I love you too Spence.” Satisfied with her answer, he turned and walked out the door. 

As soon as he left, Emily shut the door behind him, praying for no more interruptions. She turned towards the blonde who was laying in the hospital bed. “The doctor came in when you were sleeping earlier. He said you got stitches for the cuts on your stomach when you were out and that you have a mild concussion. Because you were severely dehydrated, you have to stay here for a day so your body can heal and they can keep an eye on you,” she informed JJ. Seeing the annoyance on JJ’s face, Emily quickly added, “but don’t worry, I’m staying with you until you can leave.” That lifted the blonde’s spirits so she decided to scoot to the side of the bed, patting the empty spot next to her. “I see you gave me the left side,” Emily joked. Eyes gleaming with joy, JJ responded, “well of course, you did say it was your side of the bed.” Emily threw her head back and laughed as she joined the blonde under the blanket. Turning towards each other, Emily reached down and grabbed JJ’s hand, rubbing small circles on her knuckles. JJ hummed in response, happy with the physical contact from the brunette. After a moment, Emily looked up into JJ’s eyes and took a deep breath. She started, “I have to tell you this before someone else interrupts us. Jayje, I’ve loved you ever since I can remember. As soon as I saw you on my first day, I knew you were the one. You’ve been there for me since we’ve met. When I thought I lost you when you were taken and when you coded in the ambulance, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I couldn’t imagine a life without you. You’re the reason for my existence Jen. I love you.” Waiting with a baited breath, she was upset when she didn’t get a response.

Removing her hand from JJ’s, she whispered, “I thought you felt the same. I’m sorry.” Before she could finish, she felt JJ’s lips crash onto her’s. Not wanting this moment to end, Emily rested her hand on the smaller woman’s neck, pulling her closer. In response, JJ tangled her hand in the brunette’s hair. Both women started smiling, causing them to break apart. They rested their foreheads against each other, brown and blue eyes staring into each other, both glistening with happiness and love. “I love you too,” JJ faintly whispered against Emily’s lips before kissing her softly. The brunette’s heart swelled with joy at the blonde’s confession, pulling her flush against her side. Emily had her arm wrapped around JJ, tracing circles on her back while running her other hand through the blonde hair. JJ rested her head on Emily’s chest, the smaller woman’s arm wrapped around the brunette’s torso, listening to her lover’s heartbeat. JJ had one thought running through her head as she fell asleep. _I love you Em_. The younger woman’s breath evened out, telling Emily that she was asleep. Emily smiled fondly down at the blonde who was laying on top of her, kissing the top of her head, causing a hum of approval from the sleeping woman. As Emily succumbed to her exhaustion, she had one thought running through her head. _I love you Jen_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I just wanted to thank you guys for reading and for all the support I’ve gotten for this story. It only has two parts so I hope everyone enjoys it. Lemme know what you guys think!


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